Marriage, to me, can be summarized into one word–”interesting.”
My wife is one for simplicity. When she does anything, she does so with precision and efficiency. I, on the other hand, am slow and tedious. I can remember days where she has not only done four loads of laundry in an afternoon, but also put our clothes in their proper places in the same period of time. On the occasions she wants me to unload the dryer, she knows she is most wise in telling me to dump the clothes onto the bed so that she can do the rest. This is because I separate everything into piles first. My jeans are laid over here, her shirts are laid over there, socks are piled on the floor, and the semi-damp pieces are draped over the chairs in the dining area. Not only that, but every time a new piece is laid out, I make sure to flesh out every wrinkle, and if the clothes are dressy–I hang them up and put them together on our bedroom door handle. Only after all of it is in the appropriate sorting stack does the real work begin. Now I can fold the pants in just the right way before I hang them, just the right way, on the hangers. As I do the same for the shirts, each item is placed in the closet one by one. Yes, one by tedious one.
As I type this I’m beginning to see not only why I take so long with laundry, but also how much patience my wife has for who I am and what I do. I recently heard a guy use the word “bumfuzzled” in a sentence, and now I am determined to use that word in my blog. So, here I go. I must say that I am often bumfuzzled by the fact that my wife and I have lived with, and learned to work through, many of our differences. How have we done this?
The short answer is that it has worked for us, and I encourage you and your spouse to apply this simple switch. Instead of automatically getting frustrated with your husband’s quirks or your wife’s peculiarities, submit to one thought before complaining or acting otherwise. Think to yourself, “Even though I don’t understand, I will still be understanding.”